Renew Your Vows to Jiu-Jitsu: Friction, Burnout, and the Comeback (Episode 67)

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Welcome back to another episode of Fighters Drinking Coffee.

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We are your hosts with a combined 40 years of grappling experience.

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Scott Dance. And Michael Sutherland.

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I know I've had times when I didn't enjoy doing jiu-jitsu.

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Partially, I mean, we'll get into reasons. Scott, I'm sure you've had,

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you know, a time or two where you're like, I don't really like doing this.

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It's hard. it's it's there are days where

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i'm like dude this is a very painful practice why do

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i subject myself to this shit day in day out but i keep

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doing it yeah so uh yeah yeah

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there's a there are rockier roads yeah i mean

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admittedly mine wasn't specifically jujitsu it

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was there was a and this is important there

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was like a greater frustration with mma and

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kind of like some of the events that were occurring around that and like

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when i was doing my mma career people not showing up cutting weight

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right like that that kind of led to like a bad relationship with the sport for

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a little bit and I just had to step take I mean I personally in that case had

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to reset um because I mean I was just running into like dude I can't keep cutting like 25 pounds.

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And then no one shows up and I don't get to do the fun

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part like just camp after camp after camp weight cut after weight cut

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and nothing like and then so i mean really it wasn't the jiu-jitsu

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thing it was just you know the training

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lifestyle was getting rough yeah

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the the cycle rewards were not the road yeah there

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was no reward it was all damage and risk and so like that that's what caused

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mine but ultimately there's some friction that occurs right like that's usually

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what leads to this and identifying it and how to remove it or.

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Renew your vows yeah renew your first

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and only love jiu-jitsu uh because ultimately not

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only we still love each other i still love jiu-jitsu i

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love it now i'm i've figured it back out yeah and like ultimately like i missed

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it while i'm in like the periods of time where i wasn't doing it i mean i became

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very sporadic and that was kind of i think it probably helped in terms of falling

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back in love with it which is what we're talking about today.

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But I want to try to save you guys the pain of that separation period,

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this divorce thing this divorce analogy is going to make it more fun for us,

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but that way you know you guys can save you we'll save you from that like loss

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of training time and kind of expedite getting back into the flow of things and,

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Because I became inconsistent. Like I, well, I, a bunch of other factors,

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which we don't have to get into, but ultimately like it just made my training inconsistent, sparse.

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And it was basically like I had to get Russ knocked off when I came back to it.

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And finding out the friction points is what's going to help you resolve this.

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So let's get into it, Scott. What you got for me on that?

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I mean, well, maybe I'm not the best person to talk to about this.

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I mean I have had Scott's in a stable relationship with Jiu Jitsu I think so

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I'm in a pretty stable committed relationship I mean I'm sure you've seen people

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yeah well I was gonna say for myself yeah definitely man I've seen people come

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and go throughout the years lots and lots of times,

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and great Jiu Jitsu practitioners who had tons of potential sometimes incredible talents who just,

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they lost their juice for it man they didn't just stop being valuable,

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I guess, to them who quit.

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Um, so it happens. Um,

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yeah, I mean, what I was going to say for myself was that there have definitely

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been times where it's not always like, like super fun in quotes.

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Um, or it's not as exciting or it's not as, um, I don't know,

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rewarding, but I always kept doing it, man.

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Have I told this story on the show? I dated the girl,

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way long ago. And, but I remember there, there were conversations about like

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how funny enough, how often I was doing jujitsu and it was causing problems

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and that she lost, uh, that, that, that battle.

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Um, but I, you know, and, and it's just like an funny, I make a quip on it.

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It's like a funny little anecdote, um, related to, um, I guess what I'll say

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about continuing to do it throughout, um, life's complications.

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There's always complications. Um, and I make that one, And, you know,

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I tell that story in jest.

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Wasn't a bad lady or a bad breakup or anything, but like, you know, it ended.

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And I think that could have caused some friction.

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Like you mentioned friction points. I guess it was causing friction,

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but it was like pretty easy choice for me.

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I'm like, well, this is what I'm doing. So I like this more than you.

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It doesn't matter. Not exactly. Not a relationship show, but we could do this

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too. We certainly could talk about this concept.

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But you know what? Sure. Well, let's, let's kind of, let's kind of do that. Yeah.

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Like, uh, on that thread, or if maybe there's something of value for people

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to listen to as it relates to that, that storyline.

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Um, this is like, this is what I do, man.

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Um, and, uh, that was truly a minor, um, bump on the road in the many years

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that I've been doing this, my long lasting relationship with jujitsu,

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my committed marriage to it.

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Um, it, uh, there's, there, there's going to be like friction points in your

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life that might come up that could tempt you perhaps to, um, steer away from it.

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Uh, the, the, the, the training lifestyle, the, the martial arts, jujitsu, whatever.

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Um, I was going to call it commitment, but like just having some sort of relationship with it.

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And what I would tell people is like there I think it's like it's like an internal

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choice that you make like to just continue to practice and I think we've,

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We just spoke, I mean, everything we talk about on the show is about,

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like, just continuing to progress and continuing to, I guess,

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to reap the rewards of choosing this lifestyle and, like, what it can provide for you as a person.

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And I say that with respect to the fact that like there are people out there

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who like have real life like significant counterbalances that they have to they

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have to respond to like a wife and kids or a career.

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And so um what i admire about people who i know who have also been training

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for many years is that they'll um let's say like let's i'll just like let's

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pick an example like or at least an archetype of a guy that i that i or people

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that i know that i've interacted with who um will have,

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legitimate challenges in life that they have to respond to that might let's

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say like to like a four or five or six day a week training partner kind of guy

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um and something comes up or they get injured or like something happens and they'll.

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They're obligated to handle these other aspects of their life.

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Like they have to, there's nothing wrong with that. That's good.

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Do that. Like take care of yourself, take care of your family, take care of your life.

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But what I, what I admire about these, these guys who like, I can tell in their

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core, like they're not leaving jiu-jitsu.

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They may have to temporarily back, backshift it, downshift it,

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like adjust from four or five days a week to like two or three.

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But they stay the course. And like, I think that's okay. I think people are

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going to have, and by the way, maybe it fits this, maybe it doesn't.

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I think I would actually argue for this type of dude, this type of person,

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it's the love of the game that keeps them from quitting.

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They're like, you know what, dude, this is going to suck. But I got about six

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months of like some things I got to handle.

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But once I handle that, like I'm going to get back doing my six days a week

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of jiu-jitsu or, you know, four or five, like a lot, like a high velocity of it.

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And that may mean that for four to six months, I'm going to have to try to sneak

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in once or twice a week where I can.

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But big picture it's going to put me in a position to

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be able to do these things again more um because

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things are going to happen um what's tough is when to to the i guess the core

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of this subject matters when people are like truly like losing the flame for

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it um and maybe that's i'll keep going until you you want to jump in man be

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my guest well i've got something telling the the outside obligations, right?

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Like, um, cause I mean, I, I became outside of like having to,

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I probably had just re-figured out how to enjoy jujitsu again,

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but I also was starting a family and like all this other stuff around the same

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time and trying to like start a career and manage Nova and coach at.

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It all kind of like crashed like that was a lot i was trying to do too much

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yeah yeah um but ultimately like that became like all right i'm just gonna train

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when i can and like you know i gotta figure out how to do this work thing and

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get paid and you know have money and like you know it's just like a there was

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a perfect cocktail there for me but like yeah like like you said like,

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you you do have to acknowledge your outside obligations like don't don't let

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jujitsu get in the way of derailing your life yeah like living a life like it

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should be part of it and like we've talked about balance before and like we've

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talked about obsession we've talked about,

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addiction to jujitsu god

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um but it's not

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like i say it every day uh but we

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we've talked about these these concepts and you

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know it's you still have to

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you still have to live your life around it like it needs

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to be part of it not your life right I mean I think that's it can't be the whole

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like there's it could be it could be the whole thing right like and that's fine

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too but if you have other parts of life there's other aspects to your to your

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life and your existence like you do have to manage and acknowledge and handle those things.

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Otherwise, you know, it's taking over.

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And, you know, there's some other things to look at. I was talking to a guy

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the other day who was, I've known this guy for several years, good dude,

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he's coach, former competitor, I think had some competition experience,

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and went through a couple cycles of, like, challenging sports.

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Cultural experiences in jiu-jitsu nothing like crazy just

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like negative experiences that he was i think he's

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kind of going through this this life cycle and i tried to tell him

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like you know what figure take care of yourself take care of your life like

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he said some life transitions but you know try to find a home for jiu-jitsu

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where you can man because you've been doing it for like i've known him for like

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seven or eight years um i wouldn't say i know him crazy well but like i know

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him well enough to know that like he's invested a good amount of this and this

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place this this has a role in his life in some capacity

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and I told him I was like look dude like take care of your thing like take care

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of yourself I know like this stuff can,

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the world of jiu-jitsu can um.

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Depending on how deep you go into it, like, if you get, like,

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dragged into, like, cultural or, like, political issues involved in Jiu Jitsu,

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which is something, maybe that's a subject for another day.

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That would be, uh, the dark side of Jiu Jitsu. It's actually beyond that, dude.

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Yeah, I know what you're talking about, though. I know the, the realm you're discussing, yeah.

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Well, I think you just had, like, a few negative experiences.

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He told me, he was like, man, I just don't, it's like, he's like,

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I'm not, like, I don't love it that much anymore.

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I'm like, I get it, man. I get it but like I try to nudge them a little bit

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like don't quit though like you downshift it take a break like but find a realm

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in your life to like continue doing you've done a lot it'll pay off for you

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as time goes on I mean I totally understand and respect how some of the,

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call them dark sides just like the challenges of like people interacting with people,

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and how that can weigh on you and if you associate,

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the negative things with this world it could be like a You might want a break.

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I get that. And I respect that. And like, if you need the break, take the break.

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But, um, much like what I was saying about the guys who like kind of go through,

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transitional periods in life with like the, you know, I want to,

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I'm going to continue doing this, but like I may need to downshift it for a

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while. I'm like, I would, I would encourage that approach of give yourself the break.

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If you hopefully believe that one day, and maybe only the break won't even be that long.

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Maybe it's like two weeks, but like, whatever, maybe it's two months, maybe it's a year.

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I, I, I'm encouraged cause I think this, this, as we've talked,

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we're, we're on the record pro jujitsu. We know that.

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Um, I, I would say I, I just, my call up to this guy, just having like a casual

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conversation was like, man, like figure, figure your shit out,

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dude, do what you got to do, like cool off a little bit and then like,

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come back to it. Cause I know it's going to be, it'll be good for you, man.

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Like you're, you're, you're, uh, you're, you're in too deep.

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I know as long as I've known him, he's been trained. And so I'm like,

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man, like you've, you've, there's, there's value to, in our community to you

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doing it and to you personally. So like, figure it out, man, do what you got to do.

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I totally respect like the, the headaches that you'll have sometimes.

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But, you know, weather the storm and try to stick with it. Cause it's just,

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it's worth it in my opinion.

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When I'd say to someone like that too, like, go is, don't, don't be that deep

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into it. That is also value.

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That's a, that's a good call out. because i've had i mean that's that's a big

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part of why i've left like why i've left the places in my career um outside

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of jiu-jitsu but like that was a bit i mean actually partially partway,

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that did have a little bit of a play in

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like the nova mma thing but um you know

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like getting too if you get too invested in other

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people's shit to where like their stress

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about their stuff is starting to bleed

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over because like you've become so deep into it

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it's gonna make it hard to enjoy those things um totally valid i mean like less

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so with jujitsu i mean more so with that's that was more of a reason why i was

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like i need to find another job this shit's not doesn't seem like it's gonna

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be working out um yep but like.

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Getting so invested in like to where you start to feel like,

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well, I care about their shit more than they do.

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You probably need to step out of that, step out of that. Right.

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Like that's probably, or if their shit's affecting your life,

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like you just need to take a step back because it shouldn't,

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that's their, their issues, their stress there.

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If it's, if it's like, Hey, like they're having all these issues with their

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business or having all these issues with, you know, X, Y, and Z there,

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they don't like these people.

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So like, and now it's starting to like twist my shit

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and like and i wasn't even involved in that probably i

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i get that like i can totally understand like if that i

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don't know no i think the full situation i think you're right and quite

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frankly i don't know the full situation either i don't really want to because i got enough my

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own bullshit to do yeah but but like but that's a great point man which is and

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and to the on this this it's relevant to this thread which is like figure out

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like where like like you said i think that's a good opportunity for someone

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to like to to be self-aware and say like where am i what are my boundaries for

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like how much I'm willing to call it culturally,

00:15:53.969 --> 00:15:56.049
maybe it's emotionally like invest in this.

00:15:57.583 --> 00:16:00.683
We can say the martial arts, but it's like the martial arts plus the community

00:16:00.683 --> 00:16:03.903
plus the people plus maybe the business of things too, where like things do

00:16:03.903 --> 00:16:06.763
get complicated and you get involved with like people and personal ambitions

00:16:06.763 --> 00:16:09.243
and emotions and shit and things get, they can go awry.

00:16:10.563 --> 00:16:13.823
And you're right, it's a good moment to say, you know what, like maybe I just want to be on the mat.

00:16:13.963 --> 00:16:16.483
I don't want to be involved in that type of stuff. And like you can do that.

00:16:16.623 --> 00:16:20.103
So I think it's a good moment for someone to kind of take stock of where they're

00:16:20.103 --> 00:16:22.683
at and say, man, what are the things I really like about jiu-jitsu?

00:16:22.843 --> 00:16:25.703
Okay, I like the training. I like the fun people that I meet. I'm making friends.

00:16:26.323 --> 00:16:29.243
What do I not like about it? I don't like the cultural, like, getting in too deep.

00:16:29.363 --> 00:16:31.743
I don't like the politics of it. I don't like all the nasty stuff that people

00:16:31.743 --> 00:16:34.183
say behind people's backs. I don't like competing because it stresses me out.

00:16:34.243 --> 00:16:35.343
I don't like weight cutting. Okay.

00:16:36.143 --> 00:16:39.763
Well, I can actually avoid things I don't like and do all the things that I do like.

00:16:39.803 --> 00:16:44.363
I just, I'm going to set the right boundaries and find a home for this martial

00:16:44.363 --> 00:16:49.023
art in my life that just checks all the boxes but just keeps me out of the areas

00:16:49.023 --> 00:16:50.383
that, like, quite frankly, I don't like.

00:16:50.963 --> 00:16:55.703
So I think that's a good point, man. And so like when I was thinking about when

00:16:55.703 --> 00:16:59.963
I was working out the outline for this topic, I was thinking about like the

00:16:59.963 --> 00:17:02.643
friction points and the things that those...

00:17:04.109 --> 00:17:06.929
Like cause inside of you right like the

00:17:06.929 --> 00:17:09.769
that might or they might cause inside of you and i was thinking of like a

00:17:09.769 --> 00:17:13.389
few key points stress um fear or

00:17:13.389 --> 00:17:16.149
anxiety i guess might be a those are the same thing

00:17:16.149 --> 00:17:19.569
like same realm there boredom um

00:17:19.569 --> 00:17:22.469
those are the big three i came up

00:17:22.469 --> 00:17:25.669
with so like stress fear fear slash anxiety

00:17:25.669 --> 00:17:29.309
and boredom physical injuries injuries yeah

00:17:29.309 --> 00:17:32.309
that can those are all really i think i think those are deeper probably more yeah

00:17:32.309 --> 00:17:35.329
salient versions of it but i mean say maybe there's a practical thing like

00:17:35.329 --> 00:17:39.209
well yeah i don't have money to train slash i also my i've

00:17:39.209 --> 00:17:42.749
broken every bone in my body i can't keep doing it as like legitimate things

00:17:42.749 --> 00:17:45.709
yeah i mean so there can also be so

00:17:45.709 --> 00:17:48.649
those are like the i guess the stress fear anxiety and boredom

00:17:48.649 --> 00:17:51.969
or like common barriers yeah thing uh but

00:17:51.969 --> 00:17:56.589
yeah there are external friction points which would be relationships injuries

00:17:56.589 --> 00:18:03.589
financial stuff right like those are those are harder to deal with like those

00:18:03.589 --> 00:18:08.889
those exist and you just got to deal with those head on right i can't necessarily help you with.

00:18:09.649 --> 00:18:12.429
Your injuries true at the at the point

00:18:12.429 --> 00:18:15.149
to which they're causing you to quit right like right hey dude

00:18:15.149 --> 00:18:18.329
like i don't know you got to work those out um your

00:18:18.329 --> 00:18:23.049
financial stuff can't help you with that same not my not my uh x area of expertise

00:18:23.049 --> 00:18:27.569
and like your relationship stuff like i'm not going to try to help you with

00:18:27.569 --> 00:18:32.569
your right that's just not i'm not going to try to do it yeah um i don't i don't

00:18:32.569 --> 00:18:35.549
need that that'll only that on me yeah um.

00:18:36.293 --> 00:18:39.793
But yeah i mean so like yeah the stress thing dude um because

00:18:39.793 --> 00:18:42.733
one of the one of the solutions is change the scenery right

00:18:42.733 --> 00:18:46.093
if you need to get somewhere else like if if

00:18:46.093 --> 00:18:49.333
wherever you are is stressing you out to the point where you are

00:18:49.333 --> 00:18:52.553
losing your love of the sport like you need

00:18:52.553 --> 00:18:56.133
to find somewhere else and that it might take a couple tries i

00:18:56.133 --> 00:18:58.953
mean because it sounds from i think what you're saying is this has

00:18:58.953 --> 00:19:02.013
been a few different places that are a few different instances

00:19:02.013 --> 00:19:04.873
is that what you were saying oh that dude yeah uh no i

00:19:04.873 --> 00:19:07.673
don't know i don't i don't know enough about it i

00:19:07.673 --> 00:19:10.413
just i just know that he just my only point of bringing that up was just

00:19:10.413 --> 00:19:13.153
i could just tell he's like having this like this this kind of

00:19:13.153 --> 00:19:16.033
crisis of like maybe i need to take a step back yeah which

00:19:16.033 --> 00:19:18.713
is probably the right choice for him take a step back but like i all i was

00:19:18.713 --> 00:19:21.433
saying was like just keep like maybe one foot in for a little while don't like

00:19:21.433 --> 00:19:24.073
completely close the door figure out what the right fit is for you

00:19:24.073 --> 00:19:26.793
i don't know and i don't think it's like some major thing i think it's

00:19:26.793 --> 00:19:29.973
like just a personal just need a need a break yeah which you

00:19:29.973 --> 00:19:33.353
know that that can be an answer dude like taking a break yeah and.

00:19:33.353 --> 00:19:36.233
Make it fun again keep it simple take a

00:19:36.233 --> 00:19:39.633
break i mean it could even be like hey dude like set yourself

00:19:39.633 --> 00:19:42.493
a timeline like i'm gonna step back for this amount of time if

00:19:42.493 --> 00:19:45.293
you need like full like clean break especially if it's

00:19:45.293 --> 00:19:48.713
something related to the place that you're at full clean

00:19:48.713 --> 00:19:51.613
break and say i'm gonna find a new place over this

00:19:51.613 --> 00:19:54.913
period of time i'm gonna go that way you don't like run into

00:19:54.913 --> 00:19:57.953
the issue of how like i need to

00:19:57.953 --> 00:20:00.773
go i should go find a place or oh i don't know like

00:20:00.773 --> 00:20:03.733
maybe i'll find this spot like and then you're kicking it

00:20:03.733 --> 00:20:06.933
keep pushing it kicking it down the road like give yourself if

00:20:06.933 --> 00:20:10.853
you want to keep doing it like yeah go ahead take the break but give yourself

00:20:10.853 --> 00:20:14.273
like tell yourself how long you're gonna do it for because then like if you

00:20:14.273 --> 00:20:18.193
make it intentional then you will be able to go back to it a lot easier than

00:20:18.193 --> 00:20:23.833
if you don't right um i mean like my main barrier to getting back to it was.

00:20:24.797 --> 00:20:28.677
I was ready to go back to it. COVID hits. We moved far as shit from everywhere.

00:20:28.897 --> 00:20:30.017
It was a little bit harder.

00:20:30.417 --> 00:20:33.197
So a little logistical. Yeah. Like there's also literally like,

00:20:33.357 --> 00:20:36.977
how am I going to do this? Yeah. It was like, Oh yeah. I literally can't get to a gym. Yeah.

00:20:37.917 --> 00:20:40.677
So, you know, like there's, there's other aspects to it. Of course.

00:20:40.757 --> 00:20:44.397
I was still popping in over DMA and stuff before I moved out here. Yep.

00:20:44.597 --> 00:20:49.357
So, um, like there is logistical issues that can exist too.

00:20:49.497 --> 00:20:52.677
And like, yeah, like sometimes shit just has to fall into place, right.

00:20:52.677 --> 00:20:55.797
To where you can get get to a gym and you

00:20:55.797 --> 00:21:01.157
know that can be the case too and that's fine um but boredom i think that's

00:21:01.157 --> 00:21:07.397
a good one like yeah that's probably the one uh stress is definitely but i think

00:21:07.397 --> 00:21:13.017
boredom probably most common is the most common yeah like people just it's either

00:21:13.017 --> 00:21:14.277
they feel like they're not.

00:21:14.877 --> 00:21:18.877
Progressing they feel like they're never going to get like

00:21:18.877 --> 00:21:21.697
i'm just gonna be a blue belt forever and then they just

00:21:21.697 --> 00:21:24.417
kind of that leads to like some sort of

00:21:24.417 --> 00:21:28.457
boredom situation or you feel

00:21:28.457 --> 00:21:31.317
like you're doing the same thing day every day and like there's

00:21:31.317 --> 00:21:34.277
no change in just it depends on

00:21:34.277 --> 00:21:38.197
the way your training is structured like that's sometimes you

00:21:38.197 --> 00:21:41.337
know you just feel like like i'm just not getting the the

00:21:41.337 --> 00:21:44.377
dopamine that i used to get from this like ultimately right that's

00:21:44.377 --> 00:21:47.837
what boredom yeah yeah um and i

00:21:47.837 --> 00:21:50.717
don't know like what because that that kind of that hits you

00:21:50.717 --> 00:21:54.197
a little bit too right yeah that's kind of what i was talking about earlier like insofar

00:21:54.197 --> 00:21:57.777
as like there's definitely days where like it feels like you're just going through the motions um

00:21:57.777 --> 00:22:01.377
i think you know for for the boredom one um it's

00:22:01.377 --> 00:22:04.357
complicated but i i'd say the boredom one

00:22:04.357 --> 00:22:07.437
comes down to i'd say first and foremost like the individual

00:22:07.437 --> 00:22:11.637
feeling that boredom um

00:22:11.637 --> 00:22:14.657
does have infer we just

00:22:14.657 --> 00:22:17.737
kind of like talked in the last episode like there are things you can take account

00:22:17.737 --> 00:22:22.177
of like you can control that yeah you can control and reframe the way you train

00:22:22.177 --> 00:22:26.797
now as i don't know let's just say it's like a blue belt or something like that

00:22:26.797 --> 00:22:29.457
you said the guy who's like man i'm gonna be a blue belt forever or like sometimes

00:22:29.457 --> 00:22:32.517
let's just do this because they get to a point like they've seen maybe they've

00:22:32.517 --> 00:22:33.957
been at One Academy for a little while.

00:22:35.517 --> 00:22:36.397
They've gotten...

00:22:37.310 --> 00:22:40.070
Um, some exposure to what the martial art is.

00:22:40.150 --> 00:22:43.030
And like, they kind of like, it's like their first, they hit that first plateau

00:22:43.030 --> 00:22:46.790
of, like you said, the, the, the dopamine starts to, to, to dry out,

00:22:47.270 --> 00:22:49.790
um, or stall out for, for a little while.

00:22:50.090 --> 00:22:54.410
Um, I would number one say that there's so much more, like you got a lot more to go through.

00:22:54.510 --> 00:22:57.490
Like, I think that's an opportunity to kind of reframe what you want to get

00:22:57.490 --> 00:22:59.210
out of training in that environment that you're in.

00:22:59.290 --> 00:23:01.350
It doesn't necessarily mean you need to leave that place. Maybe you need to

00:23:01.350 --> 00:23:03.310
think through how you approach it a little differently.

00:23:04.230 --> 00:23:06.890
Basically in line with what we discussed earlier, like maybe like change it

00:23:06.890 --> 00:23:10.330
up a little bit maybe you need to like try out a different outlook on

00:23:10.330 --> 00:23:13.630
the training sessions that you're going to and that sometimes that's the fix

00:23:13.630 --> 00:23:20.030
um there's a balance between um i guess as a coach and academy owner um it is

00:23:20.030 --> 00:23:23.630
something you need to be aware of that like you could look at this like a business

00:23:23.630 --> 00:23:27.170
thing like for retention like how are we going to keep our folks engaged throughout

00:23:27.570 --> 00:23:31.210
throughout time and you know it's not enough just to bring someone in and sell

00:23:31.210 --> 00:23:35.330
them on a membership for six months to a year that's great but you want people

00:23:35.330 --> 00:23:38.070
to stay for six years you want people to be like wanting to come back.

00:23:38.230 --> 00:23:40.410
So you do need to consider like how you.

00:23:41.668 --> 00:23:44.628
How fresh and exciting you make your product and

00:23:44.628 --> 00:23:47.708
i do i do think ultimately that responsibility does come down

00:23:47.708 --> 00:23:50.388
to um people in charge of a

00:23:50.388 --> 00:23:53.148
program to make it um enticing as time

00:23:53.148 --> 00:23:56.448
goes on especially as like the your customers psychology

00:23:56.448 --> 00:23:59.288
adapts and changes over time because it does

00:23:59.288 --> 00:24:03.628
um and now all that said like that's just kind of like i guess like because

00:24:03.628 --> 00:24:06.788
i have these different hats that's like something that um a business owner and

00:24:06.788 --> 00:24:10.828
a head coach should spend a lot of time thinking about One is example on that

00:24:10.828 --> 00:24:18.108
thread of like maintaining that engagement because I do very long blocks of the same.

00:24:18.308 --> 00:24:23.448
Like I in my classes I teach, I do very long blocks of the same position or

00:24:23.448 --> 00:24:26.348
something like that. Yeah, yeah. Four to six week blocks.

00:24:26.788 --> 00:24:31.588
So I understand that this could be very monotonous. And I mean,

00:24:31.688 --> 00:24:34.168
they like it because they feel like they get better at the position.

00:24:34.388 --> 00:24:37.528
But I also understand that like, hey, dude, like we're doing the same thing.

00:24:38.526 --> 00:24:43.766
Every week, like for six weeks, I understand that that can be boring.

00:24:44.306 --> 00:24:49.346
So, I mean, it's a minimal amount of time, but six, 10% of the class.

00:24:49.586 --> 00:24:53.446
So six minutes of that first six minutes of the day, Hey dude,

00:24:53.606 --> 00:24:56.446
like grab your partner, work on whatever you want to work on,

00:24:56.986 --> 00:24:58.786
you know, try something new, whatever.

00:24:59.506 --> 00:25:02.846
I do say, if you don't, if, if you don't, you only have six minutes.

00:25:02.966 --> 00:25:06.306
So if you don't know what to do, sure. Just go work on the other stuff we've been doing.

00:25:06.466 --> 00:25:09.206
And some of them do that but um you know i try

00:25:09.206 --> 00:25:12.246
to like you try to mix things up and still

00:25:12.246 --> 00:25:15.326
reach the goal like as the coach like that's

00:25:15.326 --> 00:25:18.386
what i how i try to like i try to at

00:25:18.386 --> 00:25:22.706
least keep something exciting so there so it's a little bit different even though

00:25:22.706 --> 00:25:25.786
we're doing the same thing yeah it's it's our it's our responsibility as coaches

00:25:25.786 --> 00:25:30.666
to try to handle that challenge like continually like um like the word that

00:25:30.666 --> 00:25:34.106
comes on is like entertain yeah like they keep keep it in like and it's it is

00:25:34.106 --> 00:25:36.446
it's a bit it is our job as coaches to do that.

00:25:36.986 --> 00:25:40.466
Um, but those in the CLA realm would say provide novelty.

00:25:41.566 --> 00:25:44.766
That's the, that's the way they use the word, the term novelty. Okay.

00:25:45.286 --> 00:25:48.866
Um, that works. Uh, yeah, yeah, you could say that, but, um,

00:25:49.846 --> 00:25:51.866
sure it, it, but yes, yes.

00:25:51.966 --> 00:25:54.566
Like you need, you need to, cause it is a big picture thing.

00:25:54.666 --> 00:25:57.866
You want people to like, I think that, you know, part of, um,

00:25:58.426 --> 00:26:02.926
the job that you're doing there that I'm doing is, is part of that is, it's.

00:26:03.926 --> 00:26:06.446
It's, it's, it's reminding people like why you'll do some of the,

00:26:06.566 --> 00:26:10.326
perhaps maybe the more, and like, this is like, it's, it's the mental framework.

00:26:10.526 --> 00:26:14.146
You're trying to like guide slash steer people to like understand why you're

00:26:14.146 --> 00:26:16.406
having them do the same things over and over again, which is to your point,

00:26:16.506 --> 00:26:19.146
like, trust me, this will work, man. Like this stuff, like,

00:26:19.972 --> 00:26:22.232
It's like practicing your multiplication tables when you're a kid.

00:26:22.372 --> 00:26:26.332
Like, yeah, it seems like homework sometimes, but it's going to make you good at math.

00:26:26.432 --> 00:26:28.812
It's going to make you good at the task you're providing.

00:26:29.732 --> 00:26:33.772
So I think most adults get that, but it sounds like you have a good approach

00:26:33.772 --> 00:26:35.732
towards where it's part of what you're doing in the class.

00:26:35.892 --> 00:26:38.592
It's not the entire class. So it probably balances out well.

00:26:38.932 --> 00:26:43.352
And I'm with you insofar as like, I do believe that if you want to master these

00:26:43.352 --> 00:26:47.612
skills, sometimes you have to do fewer skills, but spend a little more time on them.

00:26:47.612 --> 00:26:50.652
But like if you're as you said a second ago if you're engineering

00:26:50.652 --> 00:26:53.372
your hour or hour and 20 minutes or hour and 30 minute

00:26:53.372 --> 00:26:56.372
class like if you have the right amount of time you can you can balance all

00:26:56.372 --> 00:27:02.712
of these things where you get like some consistency some of the novelty um practice

00:27:02.712 --> 00:27:08.472
the novelty and then go out and let them play yeah the game the the drill the

00:27:08.472 --> 00:27:11.932
cla game whatever you want to call it or sometimes sparring rounds like you

00:27:11.932 --> 00:27:13.692
if you structure the right class you can sort of,

00:27:14.172 --> 00:27:17.852
check all of these boxes um but yeah

00:27:17.852 --> 00:27:21.132
and and here's the thing we can it's it's

00:27:21.132 --> 00:27:24.672
a tough elusive thing like you don't know you don't ever really know if you

00:27:24.672 --> 00:27:27.352
have it completely figured out and that's why it's a fun job it's a lot like

00:27:27.352 --> 00:27:30.332
jujitsu when i say i said i'm describing the job of being a coach yeah you can

00:27:30.332 --> 00:27:33.912
feel like you're do you're thinking about and you're you're you're focusing

00:27:33.912 --> 00:27:38.672
on this challenge of keeping people engaged and and giving them the right amount

00:27:38.672 --> 00:27:40.932
of novelty balanced with the right amount of um.

00:27:42.302 --> 00:27:45.242
Utility like homework i call it homework or eating vegetables

00:27:45.242 --> 00:27:48.002
to do the things that like we just got to do that may not seem

00:27:48.002 --> 00:27:50.742
fun but like they're worth it i think you get the right students they

00:27:50.742 --> 00:27:53.402
get that um but the thing about students they don't always

00:27:53.402 --> 00:27:56.122
i mean like they're they're still customers man so some of these guys like

00:27:56.122 --> 00:27:59.322
they'll i've always i always appreciate people who give me really raw

00:27:59.322 --> 00:28:02.482
feedback i and if you're listening to this you're one of my students please tell

00:28:02.482 --> 00:28:05.462
me um which is a double-edged sword

00:28:05.462 --> 00:28:08.182
because sometimes like you'll get feedback from someone you're like hey like you

00:28:08.182 --> 00:28:11.102
don't actually fully understand why i'm doing this i i do know

00:28:11.102 --> 00:28:13.922
more about this martial lot than you do but at the same time your feedback you're a customer man

00:28:13.922 --> 00:28:17.102
like so it's important like they they make the decision like

00:28:17.102 --> 00:28:19.922
i need to receive their feedback and not

00:28:19.922 --> 00:28:22.702
just like throw it out because i'm like what the fuck do you know i've

00:28:22.702 --> 00:28:25.682
been doing this for 21 years like that's it's a challenge because i

00:28:25.682 --> 00:28:28.602
have been doing it for 21 years and i can tell them like hey trust me as an

00:28:28.602 --> 00:28:31.922
authority on this i have a reason for doing it um

00:28:31.922 --> 00:28:34.762
nonetheless i have to hear what you have to say because

00:28:34.762 --> 00:28:37.902
i want you to stick around and if you're just not having fun and if.

00:28:37.902 --> 00:28:40.942
It stops like being enjoyable and you're like well that gym you know

00:28:40.942 --> 00:28:43.642
20 minutes away does it a little bit differently and like maybe we'll go

00:28:43.642 --> 00:28:46.462
there for a little while that sucks if i lose that customer yeah it's not

00:28:46.462 --> 00:28:49.482
the worst thing in the world sometimes you'll boomerang back around

00:28:49.482 --> 00:28:52.382
or sometimes they go like i mean i'm close with enough really good

00:28:52.382 --> 00:28:55.322
instructors who own academies here that like honestly i don't

00:28:55.322 --> 00:28:58.142
mind it when they go and they leave i mean i don't i'd prefer to keep my

00:28:58.142 --> 00:29:01.722
students but if i have a student that goes off to one of my buddies on the street hey man

00:29:01.722 --> 00:29:04.802
they're going to another really good dude i like that guy um he

00:29:04.802 --> 00:29:08.282
is a good coach it's not like you don't like the person yeah it feels a little

00:29:08.282 --> 00:29:11.742
less personal you know it's 100 and that's happened and like i could list the

00:29:11.742 --> 00:29:14.182
names of friends who own academies who they've had dudes who've left and come

00:29:14.182 --> 00:29:18.802
to me and it's like it works out in the long run yeah um and it's so i say all

00:29:18.802 --> 00:29:22.562
that to say that like we can feel like we're doing a we're doing our best to

00:29:22.562 --> 00:29:24.642
provide that balance of novelty and functionality.

00:29:25.122 --> 00:29:29.462
Um and we think about it a lot we obsess over it and we still never really master

00:29:29.462 --> 00:29:33.482
it and people just don't necessarily respond to that maybe it's just they just

00:29:33.482 --> 00:29:35.562
don't respond to the way you teach and then they go somewhere else.

00:29:36.882 --> 00:29:40.542
Maybe we're going deep down a rabbit hole on that thread. I think that all that

00:29:40.542 --> 00:29:44.142
is kind of to say for you, the listener, right?

00:29:45.828 --> 00:29:51.148
If one thing you can, one thing you can do, because obviously we can control

00:29:51.148 --> 00:29:55.488
as coaches, we can control like that from the coaching side.

00:29:55.668 --> 00:30:00.228
But outside of what we already said for, you know, the stress thing and changing

00:30:00.228 --> 00:30:03.468
your scenery outside of that, like you could bring it, you know,

00:30:03.548 --> 00:30:06.248
hey, like I'm struggling with this right now.

00:30:06.328 --> 00:30:10.588
Like I'm struggling with feeling excited about training again.

00:30:10.708 --> 00:30:11.968
Like you can tell your coach that.

00:30:12.288 --> 00:30:16.288
Oh, yeah. They might not like it. And that's OK. hey, that might tell you that

00:30:16.288 --> 00:30:18.028
maybe I should go somewhere else. That's fine.

00:30:18.348 --> 00:30:21.708
But, you know, like, I mean, I ask my guys. I don't think it's a bad thing at

00:30:21.708 --> 00:30:24.008
all to coach that. Actually, I think it's a really good thing.

00:30:24.828 --> 00:30:29.028
I'll send them polls. Like, I have a group chat with all of my students,

00:30:29.068 --> 00:30:32.068
and I'll send them a poll and be like, hey, do you, you know,

00:30:32.148 --> 00:30:35.228
we've been doing it, you know, we've been doing a certain form of training, and I just sent it out.

00:30:35.368 --> 00:30:39.748
I was like, John kind of prompted it. He was like, maybe people don't like the

00:30:39.748 --> 00:30:40.768
way we're doing it. I sent out a poll.

00:30:40.848 --> 00:30:43.508
I was like, no, they still like what we're doing. I think they were just busy.

00:30:43.928 --> 00:30:46.748
You know and so like you know and if i feel

00:30:46.748 --> 00:30:49.728
like yeah and it's really i guess it's just like someone didn't

00:30:49.728 --> 00:30:52.468
show up or a couple people didn't show up like

00:30:52.468 --> 00:30:56.668
a couple times like uh do people not like class so you know i'll send them a

00:30:56.668 --> 00:30:59.908
poll and be like hey do you guys like what do you guys want to do for training

00:30:59.908 --> 00:31:04.208
and but you can you can initiate that as a student if you like you can go up

00:31:04.208 --> 00:31:10.168
to and be like hey like um i'm just not having fun i think it shows that the

00:31:10.168 --> 00:31:11.928
coach cares yeah i think it's a good thing.

00:31:12.188 --> 00:31:15.848
And I, I mean, if you're a coach and by the way, this conversation has shifted

00:31:15.848 --> 00:31:17.888
over a lot more to the coaching perspective, I think ultimately,

00:31:18.028 --> 00:31:20.808
I'm trying to pull it, pull it back a little bit. I know, I know.

00:31:21.168 --> 00:31:23.168
Um, but I, I think it is a, uh.

00:31:24.222 --> 00:31:28.842
I think it's important if you're a coach to like, you have, this is your responsibility.

00:31:29.082 --> 00:31:31.522
Like, yeah, you got to like, you want to keep people engaged.

00:31:31.642 --> 00:31:32.542
You want people to stay on the mat.

00:31:32.622 --> 00:31:34.542
So they're not like, it's actually a good thing to be like, Ooh,

00:31:34.982 --> 00:31:37.342
attendance has gone down a little bit. I wonder what's going on.

00:31:37.682 --> 00:31:40.562
Sometimes it's like attendance goes down because it's spring break, man.

00:31:40.662 --> 00:31:43.782
And like, you've got like, you're teaching a lot of moms and dads who are like,

00:31:43.802 --> 00:31:47.222
yeah, sports season. They're like, yo, my kids got soccer like six days a week.

00:31:47.322 --> 00:31:50.482
You're like, okay. it's like i was at soccer practice till 9 p.m

00:31:50.482 --> 00:31:53.122
i don't want to wake up yeah he's like he's like trust me i'd love

00:31:53.122 --> 00:31:55.742
to come i just fucking running my kiddo around i'm like

00:31:55.742 --> 00:31:58.522
all right got it man i don't control that yeah some appreciate

00:31:58.522 --> 00:32:01.742
the feedback you know they they have it's work shit so you know sometimes you're

00:32:01.742 --> 00:32:05.162
fucking up like you said yeah and sometimes you just yeah you're fucking up

00:32:05.162 --> 00:32:09.342
but you care but you care to know the answer yeah now now to to to reframe this

00:32:09.342 --> 00:32:14.582
back over to the student um uh all of that to be said um you know you're like

00:32:14.582 --> 00:32:18.902
the the coaches are trying to provide a format for training for a reason and.

00:32:19.640 --> 00:32:22.540
To the best of your ability if you like you know maybe the more you understand that

00:32:22.540 --> 00:32:25.180
i mean like look it's ultimately you're a consumer and you get to

00:32:25.180 --> 00:32:27.800
make a choice insofar as like where you spend your time and your

00:32:27.800 --> 00:32:30.720
money and who you train with um and you

00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:33.840
get to pull the trigger on saying you know what i

00:32:33.840 --> 00:32:36.640
think it's time for me to try another academy look it's a big picture for

00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:40.320
the person who's in that position as a student like keep training man whatever

00:32:40.320 --> 00:32:43.260
keeps you on the mat ultimately because this this was rooted in like falling

00:32:43.260 --> 00:32:47.220
in love with jiu-jitsu like i promise you like like i said i'll just last thing

00:32:47.220 --> 00:32:50.240
on like business owners and head coaches that i know like I promise you some

00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:55.620
of these guys who have been in situations like mine where people will come and go,

00:32:55.760 --> 00:32:59.540
they're ultimately maybe a little bummed out that they lost a student,

00:32:59.620 --> 00:33:05.780
but at the same time, they're like— I'm sure you get hard into it eventually, right? Well, exactly.

00:33:06.200 --> 00:33:08.720
You get used to it. It happens. And I think for the most part,

00:33:08.780 --> 00:33:12.960
we're all just pretty happy to see that at least the training path they had

00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:15.520
with us got them to a point where they're like, no, I'm going to keep training

00:33:15.520 --> 00:33:16.340
for sure. I'm not quitting.

00:33:16.760 --> 00:33:19.480
Which we were a part of. we were part of that person saying yeah this stuff

00:33:19.480 --> 00:33:24.580
is awesome i just think i need to make a change or hey man i'm moving um and

00:33:24.580 --> 00:33:26.900
it's going to be tough for me to get here but there's a place right across the

00:33:26.900 --> 00:33:29.140
street from me man what do you think of that place yeah go train there just

00:33:29.140 --> 00:33:31.600
keep training yeah i've talked about to so many people throughout the years

00:33:31.600 --> 00:33:33.020
they move different cities.

00:33:33.560 --> 00:33:36.440
They want to change like just just keep stay on the mat dude

00:33:36.440 --> 00:33:39.060
yeah i'd love you to stay with me but if it's not it's not the

00:33:39.060 --> 00:33:42.040
case like just keep training because ultimately they just if they stop

00:33:42.040 --> 00:33:44.800
altogether because they aren't training your gym anymore that like

00:33:44.800 --> 00:33:47.780
that's even more of a waste of the time that you spent with

00:33:47.780 --> 00:33:50.460
you know like yeah yeah both we want to have an

00:33:50.460 --> 00:33:53.500
impact you want to have that impact that keeps someone to the core

00:33:53.500 --> 00:33:57.640
of this for the for the for the student for the consumer to like stay it may

00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:01.980
not always feel like love yes it may not always be love but it's like you know

00:34:01.980 --> 00:34:08.060
it's a sometimes it's a situationship sometimes it is a situationship but um

00:34:08.060 --> 00:34:11.220
you know you you want them to you you we do want.

00:34:12.051 --> 00:34:16.711
Our students to have had such a good experience that if the time has come for

00:34:16.711 --> 00:34:18.591
them to stop doing with you, they're going to continue doing it elsewhere.

00:34:18.891 --> 00:34:22.391
Like, yeah, at least they enjoyed it at one point. Yeah. And this is about the

00:34:22.391 --> 00:34:24.151
student at the end of the day that we're talking about here.

00:34:24.671 --> 00:34:29.651
Um, if that, if my last thing related to all of that was, you know,

00:34:29.691 --> 00:34:32.351
if you're a student and you're kind of like, just maybe trying to understand

00:34:32.351 --> 00:34:36.131
the psychology of your coach as to why they're doing things that might feel kind of boring to you.

00:34:36.491 --> 00:34:41.191
Um, I'd say seek to understand why they're doing it maybe talking to your coaches

00:34:41.191 --> 00:34:42.931
or to your head coach to understand like the,

00:34:44.031 --> 00:34:46.951
pedagogical um we i haven't said that word in a while that was

00:34:46.951 --> 00:34:50.051
an episode too that was whoa uh the pedagogical

00:34:50.051 --> 00:34:52.911
framework might kind of fill you it might might educate you

00:34:52.911 --> 00:34:55.611
like oh dude well now that i know his or her approach as to

00:34:55.611 --> 00:34:58.291
why they make me do this stuff that kind of makes it that might reinvigorate you they might

00:34:58.291 --> 00:35:01.071
be like oh dude that makes sense so maybe now

00:35:01.071 --> 00:35:04.131
it's not as boring if i reframe like i did hip

00:35:04.131 --> 00:35:07.071
escape so many fucking times like well yeah

00:35:07.071 --> 00:35:09.991
you got to keep doing them man like yeah because otherwise you if

00:35:09.991 --> 00:35:12.651
you stop doing them what i've what i always we've talked

00:35:12.651 --> 00:35:15.391
about this on the show but what i used to say and i still kind of say versions of

00:35:15.391 --> 00:35:18.351
this now to myself is like when i do the same moves

00:35:18.351 --> 00:35:21.631
and practices like we did back mount when we drilled this morning how many times

00:35:21.631 --> 00:35:27.471
have we done that a million fucking times well um i always i hopefully i tell

00:35:27.471 --> 00:35:29.871
the story and it resonates with my students but and most of them won't even

00:35:29.871 --> 00:35:33.751
know this name but i always i've i i'll jokingly ask my guys i'm like all right

00:35:33.751 --> 00:35:35.631
so like we're gonna go back to the same thing but like.

00:35:36.907 --> 00:35:41.727
If you all can't do this move to everyone in the gym today, you haven't figured it out yet.

00:35:42.087 --> 00:35:44.387
So you got more work to do. Like you might be able to do it against some people.

00:35:44.487 --> 00:35:45.227
Can you do it to every dude?

00:35:45.387 --> 00:35:47.707
Can you do it to the so-and-so black belt? And they're like,

00:35:47.947 --> 00:35:50.867
ha ha, no. And I'm like, yeah, let's keep practicing it then.

00:35:50.987 --> 00:35:52.107
Like you just still got more work to do.

00:35:52.227 --> 00:35:54.567
It's like this stuff is like, all of these things have like layers.

00:35:54.587 --> 00:35:56.587
Like we're excavating like an artifact.

00:35:57.047 --> 00:35:59.967
You might see the top of it and you're like, yeah, fuck yeah, I found something.

00:36:00.067 --> 00:36:02.827
Like it works on the white belts or a couple of blue belts, but like just can't

00:36:02.827 --> 00:36:05.287
seem to get in the purple, brown, black belts. Well, that should tell you something.

00:36:05.287 --> 00:36:06.947
Like, let's, let's stay that.

00:36:07.127 --> 00:36:11.047
Let's, I think it's fun to like continue to study the same things over and over again.

00:36:11.447 --> 00:36:15.987
Um, and so that, I just like that as an example to like tell people why we keep

00:36:15.987 --> 00:36:17.827
doing stuff that we've done before.

00:36:18.007 --> 00:36:20.767
Cause I'm like, just trust me, you're going to need this. You're going to like,

00:36:20.887 --> 00:36:21.867
you're getting some rear naked

00:36:21.867 --> 00:36:24.587
chokes now, but like your rear naked choke is not done being refined.

00:36:24.887 --> 00:36:27.047
So let's embrace it.

00:36:27.907 --> 00:36:32.727
Embrace the, the quote unquote boredom and embrace the challenge of going back to the same thing.

00:36:32.807 --> 00:36:35.807
And then, yeah, we'll do the novelty shit too. Well, and some of it,

00:36:35.907 --> 00:36:41.927
like, it goes back to the last episode, 65, episode 65, not the last one,

00:36:42.067 --> 00:36:45.907
but it goes back to where we're talking about, like, why, why you're doing this.

00:36:46.287 --> 00:36:50.207
Sometimes it's just that you need to reframe that, right? Because sometimes

00:36:50.207 --> 00:36:54.147
the reason you start doing something changes, right?

00:36:54.247 --> 00:36:59.587
Like, you started doing it for one reason, but now that reason isn't really

00:36:59.587 --> 00:37:03.127
fulfilling or you've, or you've already fulfilled. You've accomplished it.

00:37:03.127 --> 00:37:04.107
You've accomplished it.

00:37:04.287 --> 00:37:09.347
And so now you're getting bored because you don't really know why you're doing this. Right.

00:37:09.827 --> 00:37:14.547
Um, or, you know, so you start to lose the motivation and it's a little more

00:37:14.547 --> 00:37:17.967
boring because you don't really have a purpose or a goal.

00:37:18.327 --> 00:37:22.327
Um, so sometimes it's not that like, because you might, you might still enjoy

00:37:22.327 --> 00:37:26.447
the people at your gym, but you just like, don't, you're just not getting that.

00:37:26.587 --> 00:37:28.747
So it's, you know, um, yeah.

00:37:30.300 --> 00:37:35.540
The owner, well, I heard this from the owner of origin who heard it from somebody else, but, uh,

00:37:35.960 --> 00:37:42.480
he talked about how, when he switched from actually making the stuff to running

00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:47.120
the business, like more as like the primary role that he had to basically find

00:37:47.120 --> 00:37:49.360
a new way to get his dopamine.

00:37:50.300 --> 00:37:53.160
And so like you had to reestablish what he's doing

00:37:53.160 --> 00:37:56.840
and why right so same thing here you need

00:37:56.840 --> 00:38:01.800
to find you need new dopamine right like you need a new source yeah and so because

00:38:01.800 --> 00:38:05.900
whatever wherever you're trying to get it right now isn't working so maybe hey

00:38:05.900 --> 00:38:10.380
like i'm gonna find out why and why i'm doing this all right well i was doing

00:38:10.380 --> 00:38:16.560
it for the specific i'll use me as an example here i was doing jujitsu.

00:38:17.507 --> 00:38:24.887
To implement it in mixed martial arts so that I could win mixed martial arts fights, right?

00:38:24.987 --> 00:38:28.147
Like that was one of the reasons why I was doing it.

00:38:28.767 --> 00:38:36.327
Now, once I got what that, what caught what that caused was once I got frustrated

00:38:36.327 --> 00:38:42.587
with the things that were occurring in my MMA career that were creating roadblocks,

00:38:42.807 --> 00:38:47.927
that then affected my enjoyment of jujitsu because it, I, it was no longer filling

00:38:47.927 --> 00:38:50.987
the goal that it was supposed to fill. I see.

00:38:51.187 --> 00:38:54.767
But once I said, you know what? Hey, once I decided that I was,

00:38:55.027 --> 00:38:57.127
Hey, I'm going to, I'm going to shelf the same thing.

00:38:58.027 --> 00:39:01.367
Um, you know, that's not going to work. Then I was like, Oh,

00:39:01.407 --> 00:39:03.027
you know, like, it's just kind of fun again.

00:39:03.147 --> 00:39:07.227
You know, like once I restructured, like I'm just going to do jujitsu to do jujitsu,

00:39:07.407 --> 00:39:10.087
like that's going to be the sport now it made it a

00:39:10.087 --> 00:39:12.947
hell of a lot more you know they became more fun there you go other

00:39:12.947 --> 00:39:15.727
things happened that were outside of that control that i needed

00:39:15.727 --> 00:39:18.747
to do but that's a whole different thing yeah that's like

00:39:18.747 --> 00:39:21.547
we talked about life stuff family stuff yeah yeah you know

00:39:21.547 --> 00:39:24.747
financial stuff you just have to do those things yeah that's you

00:39:24.747 --> 00:39:27.967
got to handle that but you know like once i

00:39:27.967 --> 00:39:33.047
reframed that it became a lot more enjoyable again yeah so same thing can happen

00:39:33.047 --> 00:39:38.967
here if you're bored or you know whatever frustrated that that might be a way

00:39:38.967 --> 00:39:42.987
to like it might be might be a way they can help you fix it sometimes it is

00:39:42.987 --> 00:39:45.127
an institutional thing we're like hey like,

00:39:45.747 --> 00:39:50.247
academy for me perhaps yeah but if you're still enjoying the other aspects of

00:39:50.247 --> 00:39:53.827
that gym it could just be that you need to think about why you're doing it again

00:39:53.827 --> 00:39:58.227
and you know that reframing might hey here's here's a this man i'm just more

00:39:58.227 --> 00:40:01.987
of just a hypothesis idea but and it may not be popular but.

00:40:03.131 --> 00:40:08.491
Maybe this shouldn't be your dopamine fix. Also possible. Maybe that's the wrong way to look at it.

00:40:08.591 --> 00:40:14.451
Because if you're looking at this as something to feel some short-term reward.

00:40:15.971 --> 00:40:18.591
I mean, you should have some amount. No, no, no, you're right.

00:40:18.591 --> 00:40:22.711
That's why as I'm saying it, that's why I'm not sure if I'm going to think this through as I speak.

00:40:22.911 --> 00:40:25.251
I think you are onto something with that.

00:40:25.591 --> 00:40:28.371
This might help. um that like

00:40:28.371 --> 00:40:34.431
maybe it shouldn't be maybe that getting the dopamine fix shouldn't be the reason

00:40:34.431 --> 00:40:38.351
it should be like maybe a bonus when you get it yeah yeah like that yeah we're

00:40:38.351 --> 00:40:41.571
on the same page that's more or less what i'm thinking about too bro which is

00:40:41.571 --> 00:40:45.631
if you're doing this because i'm it's like like a like a drug addict like i

00:40:45.631 --> 00:40:47.291
need that dopamine and it's not hitting,

00:40:47.931 --> 00:40:54.371
well that's gonna leave you wanting more um uh because i'll tell you dude is

00:40:54.371 --> 00:41:01.771
like someone who does is I've out many hours just this week, my 21st year of doing it.

00:41:01.871 --> 00:41:06.131
Like, I don't know if I'm getting any dopamine from it. I'm still enjoying it. I'm so glad I'm doing it.

00:41:06.691 --> 00:41:10.151
Um, and part of that could be, cause maybe I literally think of it as it is my job.

00:41:10.671 --> 00:41:14.611
Um, and it's, but, and there's, there's like a low dose of like satisfaction

00:41:14.611 --> 00:41:17.691
and dopamine I get from just acknowledging that, but it's not like I go into

00:41:17.691 --> 00:41:20.051
like, there are definitely days where I feel like I'm doing a job.

00:41:20.531 --> 00:41:25.931
Most of the time I feel like I'm doing a job. But I have the gratitude knowing

00:41:25.931 --> 00:41:29.651
that I'm like, we've talked about this so many times, I'm just glad it's my job.

00:41:29.791 --> 00:41:32.291
But I don't come out of it feeling like high.

00:41:33.171 --> 00:41:37.351
And like high might not be the right word, but I don't have these major dopamine.

00:41:37.931 --> 00:41:40.091
But I have the satisfaction of knowing- Some days. Sure, no,

00:41:40.171 --> 00:41:43.411
sometimes. I actually felt great yesterday after, I kinda had a little bit of

00:41:43.411 --> 00:41:45.951
that after training yesterday, since we're talking about it.

00:41:46.091 --> 00:41:49.031
But I have a satisfaction knowing that I'm like, cool.

00:41:50.051 --> 00:41:54.311
The discipline of me doing the things making me better but it's not this like

00:41:54.311 --> 00:41:57.571
I'm not running around like ear to ear grinning that I did it,

00:41:58.531 --> 00:42:01.971
maybe that's me exposing my psychology here but I'm still glad I'm still going

00:42:01.971 --> 00:42:05.091
to do it and I want to do it again and I don't know maybe it comes with like,

00:42:06.066 --> 00:42:09.446
decades of doing it um and like a high heavy

00:42:09.446 --> 00:42:12.346
degree of commitment and investment in it that it's just like your mindset

00:42:12.346 --> 00:42:15.166
shifts don't know um because this is not to talk people

00:42:15.166 --> 00:42:18.066
out of these things it's not to say that if you're still getting a dopamine hit that's a bad thing

00:42:18.066 --> 00:42:21.326
i'd say embrace it just like like you said try not

00:42:21.326 --> 00:42:24.906
to do it for that because that may not be there it feels

00:42:24.906 --> 00:42:28.266
like we're talking a lot about like a marriage that's gone for like well like

00:42:28.266 --> 00:42:31.746
you're gonna you gotta you're i'm committed to this so like i'm gonna think

00:42:31.746 --> 00:42:36.686
keep doing it but i think best to say that like understand that there there

00:42:36.686 --> 00:42:43.506
has to be jujitsu requires a level of delayed gratification right like it's.

00:42:44.659 --> 00:42:48.479
And I, I believe we've talked about, I, I don't have the episode number for

00:42:48.479 --> 00:42:51.299
this one, but we've definitely said this on another episode.

00:42:51.719 --> 00:42:54.599
Um, I'll try to make up a number. You definitely, we've definitely,

00:42:54.739 --> 00:42:57.179
we've probably in a few episodes where we've talked about like,

00:42:57.479 --> 00:43:04.219
sometimes you just slog through it and then like you hit the move and then you're just fucking excited.

00:43:04.219 --> 00:43:07.039
And like, that's like, and you have the light bulb moment or,

00:43:07.319 --> 00:43:09.079
you know, you see a white belt do that.

00:43:09.179 --> 00:43:15.339
Like that's part of the journey, right? Like, sometimes it just sucks until it doesn't.

00:43:15.859 --> 00:43:18.639
Like, I don't know. Like, sometimes that's part of it.

00:43:18.739 --> 00:43:22.359
But, like, if you understand that there's that delayed gratification,

00:43:22.359 --> 00:43:25.479
it does make it a lot easier. Like, I think that's part of it, too.

00:43:25.919 --> 00:43:30.639
Like, it's a carrot on a stick. It's not like a box of chocolate. Yeah.

00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:36.599
That's interesting. Sometimes you catch the carrot, but not always.

00:43:36.979 --> 00:43:40.459
Yeah. Yeah, well, and I guess, like, maybe for me, I also accept,

00:43:40.699 --> 00:43:43.519
like, I'd like to think that I, because I'm married, I've been married to Jiu-Jitsu

00:43:43.519 --> 00:43:46.699
for 21 years, I have a deeper awareness and appreciation of it.

00:43:48.059 --> 00:43:50.759
It's, there's just, like, certain things that you may not, like,

00:43:50.839 --> 00:43:54.039
I try not to take for granted that, like, you know, doing it,

00:43:54.159 --> 00:43:57.339
like, there's, like, the physical exercise, there's, like, the physical discipline,

00:43:57.359 --> 00:44:00.579
like, all the shit that we talk about, the ego stuff, like, all that trite stuff is so true.

00:44:00.579 --> 00:44:05.519
And so I just think like, I may not feel this big boost of like pride or excitement

00:44:05.519 --> 00:44:09.699
from it all the time, but like I have a low dose consistent awareness of like the value of it.

00:44:09.779 --> 00:44:12.699
That's why I keep doing it day in, day out through all these,

00:44:12.899 --> 00:44:15.079
through all kinds of situations in life.

00:44:15.159 --> 00:44:19.359
Just keep doing it because it's, I'm just like, I don't need the dopamine.

00:44:19.379 --> 00:44:22.839
I should say it would be really cool if I had like constant dopamine hits.

00:44:22.939 --> 00:44:24.559
Wouldn't that be nice? That'd be so cool.

00:44:24.799 --> 00:44:29.799
Yeah. I don't even get that for my nicotine anymore. I think the expectation

00:44:29.799 --> 00:44:36.379
of that constant dopamine probably comes...

00:44:36.944 --> 00:44:40.564
Probably also why a lot of blue belts quit is that

00:44:40.564 --> 00:44:43.364
expectation comes from like the fact that as a white belt

00:44:43.364 --> 00:44:46.784
it is pretty like you get a lot because you're

00:44:46.784 --> 00:44:49.924
learning so much it's so much new stuff you're in the honeymoon stage

00:44:49.924 --> 00:44:52.844
you're you're in the honeymoon stage when you're in the honeymoon stage yeah like

00:44:52.844 --> 00:44:56.264
you have that constant like mental like whoa oh another

00:44:56.264 --> 00:44:59.604
new thing another new thing another new thing yeah and

00:44:59.604 --> 00:45:02.544
i think that's probably like and then you get like

00:45:02.544 --> 00:45:05.264
you get like a depressive state at blue belt and then a

00:45:05.264 --> 00:45:08.284
bunch of people quit because like you're so used to

00:45:08.284 --> 00:45:11.264
just constant immediate gratification that's

00:45:11.264 --> 00:45:14.304
right and you have to you have to make that like mind mindset shift

00:45:14.304 --> 00:45:17.084
to be like all right hey like i'm not gonna

00:45:17.084 --> 00:45:20.084
i'm not gonna get my fix every single day now

00:45:20.084 --> 00:45:23.344
like i have to understand that every like i'm

00:45:23.344 --> 00:45:26.204
gonna have to wait like it's gonna be delayed like i'm

00:45:26.204 --> 00:45:29.284
gonna i'm gonna have these moments it's still gonna happen it's

00:45:29.284 --> 00:45:32.524
just not gonna be every day is sneaking off to another gym like having a mistress

00:45:32.524 --> 00:45:35.504
is it like having like your mistress you're like yeah dude it feels like i'm

00:45:35.504 --> 00:45:41.584
21 again yeah that's funny yeah you're you're you're spot on man um yeah you

00:45:41.584 --> 00:45:45.064
know i i think you know this conversation has been really interesting and it's

00:45:45.064 --> 00:45:46.524
taken a lot of turns but um,

00:45:47.503 --> 00:45:51.263
There's a lot. I mean, there's just a lot of different ways to look at this. Yeah.

00:45:52.003 --> 00:45:56.363
You said it right. The delayed gratification thing is really important.

00:45:57.343 --> 00:46:01.943
And I think just having a baseline appreciation for what it is,

00:46:02.283 --> 00:46:07.043
it gets funny. It goes back to the corny things you'll see written on a wall

00:46:07.043 --> 00:46:11.183
when you walk into a karate gym where it's discipline, courage, yada, yada, yada.

00:46:11.243 --> 00:46:13.903
It is that stuff. you that's the stuff you have

00:46:13.903 --> 00:46:16.763
to appreciate that like you're doing you may feel

00:46:16.763 --> 00:46:19.983
it a lot when you first start and then kind of

00:46:19.983 --> 00:46:22.703
like what we talked about where you do need to reframe your mindset where it's like you'll feel

00:46:22.703 --> 00:46:25.763
like you kind of accomplish those things um you haven't fully accomplished

00:46:25.763 --> 00:46:28.423
but you've you accomplished a baseline entry-level version of

00:46:28.423 --> 00:46:31.443
that that makes you you feel the that boost of of dopamine

00:46:31.443 --> 00:46:35.023
as you said every time you do it and then because

00:46:35.023 --> 00:46:38.543
you've gotten that and you've gotten good at it like the next level becomes

00:46:38.543 --> 00:46:42.603
harder to attain there's still going to be those those days of excitement and

00:46:42.603 --> 00:46:46.463
dopamine but it gets harder and harder to reach but you just maybe you just

00:46:46.463 --> 00:46:49.363
have to take a step back sometimes and like really appreciate that you did that

00:46:49.363 --> 00:46:52.843
and that like yeah it doesn't feel like i'm still getting that feeling anymore but

00:46:53.243 --> 00:46:56.483
i know that it's there i'm getting these things i'm getting these values it's

00:46:56.483 --> 00:47:01.703
just the good news is like hey maybe pat yourself on the back you kind of did

00:47:01.703 --> 00:47:05.023
it you've accomplished those goals but there's you still have more discovery

00:47:05.023 --> 00:47:07.463
to do in each of those realms it's just not gonna and,

00:47:08.043 --> 00:47:12.563
And maybe it's the mature lens of looking at it, where it's like the commitment

00:47:12.563 --> 00:47:16.263
to doing it long-term will make you even better at all of those things.

00:47:16.503 --> 00:47:20.803
You may not feel it every single day, but you are heading in that direction.

00:47:22.023 --> 00:47:23.023
Yeah, yeah.

00:47:25.097 --> 00:47:27.737
Yeah, I mean, absolutely. What a deep conversation. So deep.

00:47:28.437 --> 00:47:34.517
Yeah, I mean, that's absolutely, like, you have to look at it that way.

00:47:34.837 --> 00:47:37.037
I mean, if you're going to play the long game, I think you do.

00:47:37.437 --> 00:47:40.397
Yeah, you have to understand. And we want people to play the long game.

00:47:40.537 --> 00:47:41.617
We want you guys to do this for decades.

00:47:41.777 --> 00:47:47.117
We want people to, like, because selfishly it's great for us to have more people

00:47:47.117 --> 00:47:49.797
who become, like, awesome black belts that we can train with and we have,

00:47:49.877 --> 00:47:52.117
like, and buddies that we can be, like,

00:47:52.297 --> 00:47:55.317
friends with, like our homies in the trenches um for years

00:47:55.317 --> 00:47:58.037
and years and years but it's like good for you all listening to to like

00:47:58.037 --> 00:48:01.017
go down that road it's like it should be a lifelong thing in

00:48:01.017 --> 00:48:05.177
my opinion i think if that's why that's why what we're saying i'm like i think

00:48:05.177 --> 00:48:09.117
get embrace the dopamine have fun with it but like be prepared for it to not

00:48:09.117 --> 00:48:12.677
be there all the time but like you'll you'll i think your your reward system

00:48:12.677 --> 00:48:16.237
might even evolve and less of like a focus on like that momentary hit to like

00:48:16.237 --> 00:48:18.237
a bigger picture, a broader version of it.

00:48:18.777 --> 00:48:24.877
Yeah. The rewarding aspects that run deeper and perhaps are harder to see that

00:48:24.877 --> 00:48:26.337
take longer to develop, but they'll be there.

00:48:26.617 --> 00:48:29.097
Yeah, I mean, I think that's probably, that's a good way to kind of...

00:48:29.097 --> 00:48:30.437
And coach other people. Yes.

00:48:30.637 --> 00:48:34.817
Help other people, because when you make this all, this is all very centric around what we want.

00:48:36.440 --> 00:48:39.300
Man jiu-jitsu that's what a jiu-jitsu is man yes it's

00:48:39.300 --> 00:48:41.940
a selfish sport right it is but i think partially you know

00:48:41.940 --> 00:48:44.960
what that's where you know when you're getting to these phases maybe you just start

00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:47.580
thinking about other people yeah because like depression and boredom and

00:48:47.580 --> 00:48:50.360
shit comes from people who think about themselves all the time yeah i can take

00:48:50.360 --> 00:48:53.020
take it and be like we should ask john about that yeah but i've heard

00:48:53.020 --> 00:48:56.140
that i've heard that like that's where it comes from it's like when you become so internally focused

00:48:56.140 --> 00:48:59.420
that like you obsess over your the feelings that you have and it's like think

00:48:59.420 --> 00:49:02.600
about yourself less and about the other people maybe start coaching and then

00:49:02.600 --> 00:49:06.320
like you can you might even get the dopamine hit when that other person gets

00:49:06.320 --> 00:49:09.980
a dopamine because like dude sick dude i helped that white belt hit the camora

00:49:09.980 --> 00:49:13.760
that's how i get my look at now we're kids now so you get to kind of like go through these like,

00:49:14.760 --> 00:49:18.040
you have to think about other people other than yourself yeah you know like

00:49:18.040 --> 00:49:24.000
it's a more rewarding experience yeah exactly um i mean so to to kind of summarize

00:49:24.000 --> 00:49:26.840
all of this because we've touched on a few different so many things i want to

00:49:26.840 --> 00:49:30.080
make sure you guys get it all before we get into the I want to get to those parts.

00:49:31.220 --> 00:49:36.760
Yeah. The fun part. But so, you know, if you're in like the stress,

00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:42.820
anxiety phase, right, where this is out, like, you've got other shit is going

00:49:42.820 --> 00:49:44.900
on is like infiltrating your life,

00:49:45.720 --> 00:49:50.340
from the gym maybe and like it's just creating like a toxic relationship with jiu-jitsu.

00:49:50.860 --> 00:49:53.260
Maybe that's the way to frame it. It's like you have a way where you're getting

00:49:53.260 --> 00:49:55.500
bored and you have a way where the relationship's getting toxic.

00:49:55.720 --> 00:49:57.800
If it's getting toxic, dude, it's like,

00:49:58.406 --> 00:50:02.566
take a break. Yeah. Confront it and like have an honest conversation about why

00:50:02.566 --> 00:50:04.706
that is the case. Cause maybe it's the place you're in.

00:50:04.886 --> 00:50:07.646
Yeah. Maybe it's the mindset you're in. Yeah. You need to look at like,

00:50:07.706 --> 00:50:12.066
all right, well, what is causing it? Is it where I am or is it what I'm doing?

00:50:12.666 --> 00:50:16.746
Like, you know, those are, those are important questions to ask probably.

00:50:16.926 --> 00:50:20.866
Like that was, I think that's the questions is like, is it where I am or is

00:50:20.866 --> 00:50:24.566
it because of how I'm doing this or why I'm doing this?

00:50:24.806 --> 00:50:27.306
The why is going to be pretty present in the whole thing.

00:50:27.546 --> 00:50:32.726
Um, you know, where I am, is it where, why, or how, um, or what?

00:50:32.846 --> 00:50:36.106
It could just be that, Hey man, maybe it's just jujitsu for a little bit.

00:50:36.286 --> 00:50:40.386
Um, you know, like look, look, actually look inside and ask yourself like what's

00:50:40.386 --> 00:50:43.206
causing this, figure out the friction point, um.

00:50:44.086 --> 00:50:47.746
And address it, you know, whether that's finding a new place,

00:50:48.306 --> 00:50:53.766
maybe reducing your frequency, maybe that helps, maybe stepping back and doing

00:50:53.766 --> 00:50:57.686
it in a lower and, you know, being involved in a smaller capacity.

00:50:58.546 --> 00:51:02.066
Um that would be for that person right now if

00:51:02.066 --> 00:51:05.206
it's the person who's bored like we just talked about uh

00:51:05.206 --> 00:51:08.086
we just said it but it like we just talked about figure out

00:51:08.086 --> 00:51:13.126
why again figure out why you're doing it and figure out maybe maybe it is that

00:51:13.126 --> 00:51:18.466
like dopamine withdrawal almost and you just need to recognize that there is

00:51:18.466 --> 00:51:23.086
delayed gratification in this thing and you know maybe you need to restructure

00:51:23.086 --> 00:51:27.486
how you're doing jujitsu or why you're doing jujitsu and that might help

00:51:27.506 --> 00:51:31.266
you get excited about it again, whether that's starting to teach,

00:51:31.666 --> 00:51:36.026
or again, another one could be, maybe we like mix it up a little bit,

00:51:36.166 --> 00:51:38.486
you go cross train every once in a while.

00:51:39.798 --> 00:51:42.718
A little bit of variation in there um or

00:51:42.718 --> 00:51:45.698
you know try out different your gym might have different class

00:51:45.698 --> 00:51:48.338
times that just are different mix it

00:51:48.338 --> 00:51:51.718
up a little bit get a little variation um start teaching

00:51:51.718 --> 00:51:55.938
other people like find out how to make this you can find ways to make this more

00:51:55.938 --> 00:52:01.258
enjoyable um because ultimately like if if you like the people at the gym you

00:52:01.258 --> 00:52:05.098
you can make it work yeah and sometimes like you said sometimes you just need

00:52:05.098 --> 00:52:09.258
to find new gyms sometimes it is the place you're at And it's just not a good

00:52:09.258 --> 00:52:11.078
fit for you anymore. And that's okay too.

00:52:11.178 --> 00:52:13.478
Cause like everything changes. Um, um.

00:52:14.925 --> 00:52:18.365
But let's get into the fun part. I'm into it. Let's go. All right,

00:52:18.505 --> 00:52:22.385
Combat Confessions. Combat Confessions. Segment Combat Confessions.

00:52:22.805 --> 00:52:25.025
Version 2.0. This is the second one, right? Second confession.

00:52:25.545 --> 00:52:29.345
All right, so. A couple confessions. I've got a couple good ones here.

00:52:30.425 --> 00:52:35.665
This one is shorter than the last one.

00:52:35.665 --> 00:52:39.685
Um but i was

00:52:39.685 --> 00:52:43.585
an open mat and i saw

00:52:43.585 --> 00:52:46.285
two people sitting a white and a blue belt sitting off

00:52:46.285 --> 00:52:49.325
to the side that were for about 20

00:52:49.325 --> 00:52:53.605
minutes so like sitting out rounds on the side for about 20 minutes uh this

00:52:53.605 --> 00:52:59.245
guy was a brown belt he walks up to him uh they're they were women and he said

00:52:59.245 --> 00:53:02.545
and he asked them if one of them he says hey would one of you like to roll they

00:53:02.545 --> 00:53:06.585
said yes and then And they both stood up and went and rolled with each other.

00:53:06.945 --> 00:53:09.105
Oh, no. He got snubbed. He got snubbed.

00:53:09.865 --> 00:53:14.125
So that was... Dang. I thought that was pretty funny. That is funny.

00:53:15.185 --> 00:53:18.445
Do you guys want to roll? Do one of you want to roll? Yeah. And then they go

00:53:18.445 --> 00:53:20.165
and roll together. That's very fun.

00:53:20.745 --> 00:53:23.505
I'll give one more off that thread because that's a short one.

00:53:23.625 --> 00:53:26.425
But let's... I don't really have a lot of feedback on that one.

00:53:26.485 --> 00:53:28.565
I just thought that was a funny little story. Yeah, it's funny.

00:53:29.145 --> 00:53:33.305
Too many factors are unknown to us. Yeah. That was a very short quip.

00:53:33.305 --> 00:53:35.645
But I was like, dude, that's, that's pretty good.

00:53:35.825 --> 00:53:39.725
Especially, uh, one of the comments on it was, do you think they were sitting

00:53:39.725 --> 00:53:42.945
there just waiting for someone to come up to them so they could do that?

00:53:43.545 --> 00:53:48.765
Maybe. Which would be weird. That's a pretty committed, like, to almost not training.

00:53:49.585 --> 00:53:52.305
But it'd be funny if they were, um, yeah.

00:53:53.302 --> 00:54:00.722
Another thread, so one guy mentions people were comparing, like,

00:54:01.022 --> 00:54:04.842
jujitsu injuries, and one guy mentions that he no longer has a nipple because

00:54:04.842 --> 00:54:08.042
someone bit it off while he was doing mother's milk.

00:54:08.362 --> 00:54:11.422
Oh, you're doing, like, a mother's milk submission? Now we're talking.

00:54:12.002 --> 00:54:18.162
And so he was talking about that. then another person chimes in below. This is from Reddit.

00:54:18.442 --> 00:54:23.442
Another person chimes in below and says that one of the black belts at his gym,

00:54:23.442 --> 00:54:28.222
I believe he was saying it was before he was a black belt, but one of them, uh,

00:54:28.562 --> 00:54:35.982
has a giant scar around his nipple because he was, uh,

00:54:36.482 --> 00:54:39.042
he mounted a white belt.

00:54:39.562 --> 00:54:45.262
And while applying pressure, I assume something similar to like doing no mother's

00:54:45.262 --> 00:54:49.022
milk position on this guy or like a chest wrap or something, uh,

00:54:49.302 --> 00:54:55.582
that the white belt then bites his nipple to try to escape and wouldn't let go.

00:54:55.942 --> 00:55:02.602
And so for 15 minutes, this guy is trying to figure out how to get this white

00:55:02.602 --> 00:55:05.522
belt off his chest. And then.

00:55:06.256 --> 00:55:09.056
For 15 minutes for 15 minutes the guy

00:55:09.056 --> 00:55:13.976
wouldn't let go now weird 15

00:55:13.976 --> 00:55:17.476
minutes of him biting his titty yeah no shit

00:55:17.476 --> 00:55:20.656
he and so it kind of like people were asking questions

00:55:20.656 --> 00:55:23.336
about oh yeah i got questions questions but so one of

00:55:23.336 --> 00:55:26.416
the things like well what did why why didn't

00:55:26.416 --> 00:55:29.416
he like try to get him off and the guy was like well like he

00:55:29.416 --> 00:55:32.476
said he thought about afterwards thought about trying

00:55:32.476 --> 00:55:35.556
to like punch the guy but he's worried if he punched him he

00:55:35.556 --> 00:55:38.236
would bite harder like so he's just

00:55:38.236 --> 00:55:41.996
wasn't sure like how to address the situation but

00:55:41.996 --> 00:55:45.776
like what would you i mean like this one this one has a little more like what

00:55:45.776 --> 00:55:52.876
would you do i'd i'd get him off me i'd tap i'd guess i'd like i would i would

00:55:52.876 --> 00:55:57.096
indicate to him you need to stop biting me i mean for 15 minutes though i don't

00:55:57.096 --> 00:55:59.116
I don't know if a tap's going to matter.

00:55:59.236 --> 00:56:02.016
Reddit's got to be fake. It might be a little extended. These are fake.

00:56:02.316 --> 00:56:06.116
But it's probably 15 seconds. But that's so crazy.

00:56:07.256 --> 00:56:13.376
15 minutes. I mean, yeah. I mean, the second someone, if someone bit me in anywhere...

00:56:14.476 --> 00:56:17.536
I mean, yeah, that's, that's, we're going to stop right away.

00:56:17.776 --> 00:56:19.976
We're going to talk about that. It's like, this is over, dude.

00:56:20.296 --> 00:56:24.396
Yeah, you get one warning. This is your only warning. You can't bite me. Can't bite anyone.

00:56:25.156 --> 00:56:28.576
What the hell are you doing? Yeah, I mean, that's, that's what I would try to do.

00:56:29.316 --> 00:56:33.716
Did the 15 minutes, sounds like it's like he, was he training with like a pit

00:56:33.716 --> 00:56:34.976
bull or a gator or something?

00:56:35.296 --> 00:56:38.036
That's what it sounds like, right? They're like, it's like, jaw power. Seriously.

00:56:38.716 --> 00:56:41.496
Like, did you, that's, this got to be fake.

00:56:41.796 --> 00:56:45.836
It just has to be fake. because how do you for 15 minutes not like,

00:56:46.136 --> 00:56:50.336
are we telling the guy as he's biting you, hey dude, let go, let go, let go.

00:56:50.376 --> 00:56:53.556
And he's unsuccessful for 15 minutes and the 15th minute he's like, all right, I'll let go.

00:56:53.956 --> 00:56:57.116
Like what is happening for 15? That's gotta be fake. I'm like,

00:56:57.276 --> 00:57:02.716
I'm imagining like everyone's like surrounding, like talking the guy out of

00:57:02.716 --> 00:57:04.616
it as he's like- It's like a hostage negotiation, yeah.

00:57:05.556 --> 00:57:11.316
I mean, I imagine if it was for an extended period of time.

00:57:12.864 --> 00:57:15.484
This dude was doing more than just holding this guy in the mouth.

00:57:15.824 --> 00:57:18.184
Well, you know, it did cross my mind when you mentioned it. Like,

00:57:18.264 --> 00:57:21.064
how much pressure were you putting on this white belt? This dude was probably

00:57:21.064 --> 00:57:23.904
doing something a little fucking, like... Well, if someone bit you...

00:57:23.904 --> 00:57:24.884
Something enough to piss this dude.

00:57:25.004 --> 00:57:28.104
Let's say this actually happened. Now I'm starting to think it didn't ever happen.

00:57:28.204 --> 00:57:29.244
But let's say it actually happened.

00:57:29.404 --> 00:57:33.024
Yes, I'm with you that someone in the... The biter in both scenarios,

00:57:33.244 --> 00:57:36.304
if they're both white belts, they panicked. They didn't know what to do, so they bit.

00:57:36.464 --> 00:57:41.044
So it's like a reaction of out of fear and lack of awareness of the situation.

00:57:41.104 --> 00:57:42.464
They're just like, they're fighting for their life.

00:57:42.844 --> 00:57:46.664
Like, which I've seen white belts do when they go to like regular classes when they're just nervous.

00:57:46.804 --> 00:57:49.044
They're like, ah, this is like a fight. So they spaz. I ain't get out.

00:57:49.104 --> 00:57:52.384
That's the root of white belt spazzing is that it's like they think they're

00:57:52.384 --> 00:57:53.104
fighting for their life.

00:57:53.184 --> 00:57:57.284
And you have to like do your job as an instructor or like a tenured training

00:57:57.284 --> 00:58:01.004
partner to be like, yo, I know it's new and it feels like that. But it's just practice.

00:58:01.184 --> 00:58:03.204
Like, take it easy. It's trying to break you in now.

00:58:03.704 --> 00:58:05.784
But if someone's biting you, it's because, yeah, they think they're fighting

00:58:05.784 --> 00:58:07.084
for their life and they don't know what to do.

00:58:07.184 --> 00:58:10.944
So it's a little bit almost involuntary. which then yes in my opinion especially

00:58:10.944 --> 00:58:13.544
also in the black belt it kind of makes me wonder why were you smashing this

00:58:13.544 --> 00:58:19.144
dude's face why were you you should have the agency as a black belt mounting a white belt to not.

00:58:20.219 --> 00:58:22.979
Go so nutty that you're triggering this person

00:58:22.979 --> 00:58:26.639
to feel like they're fighting for their life like you ought to be able to mount with some compassion

00:58:26.639 --> 00:58:29.319
if you're a black belt yeah like that should you should have

00:58:29.319 --> 00:58:32.079
the skill set to do that um and again i know nothing about the

00:58:32.079 --> 00:58:35.999
situation maybe he was doing that and the person still just bit his nipple but

00:58:35.999 --> 00:58:41.559
it's so crazy i feel like there's a there's probably some missing i mean i don't

00:58:41.559 --> 00:58:44.839
doubt that if they're real we are someone else okay if let's say if they're

00:58:44.839 --> 00:58:49.679
real bro we're definitely missing critical data oh there's missing missing

00:58:49.859 --> 00:58:52.539
information like big time the one we're like well what are

00:58:52.539 --> 00:58:55.459
the what were the rest of the reddit comments i want to know like uh so

00:58:55.459 --> 00:58:58.639
how many people were like you're lying 15 minutes is unreal i know

00:58:58.639 --> 00:59:01.519
people were buying into it i think people wanted to hear the story i

00:59:01.519 --> 00:59:05.659
want to hear the story uh i think true or false i think uh so what's funny is

00:59:05.659 --> 00:59:10.479
this whole thread prior to the first one being mentioned like you know it was

00:59:10.479 --> 00:59:14.199
there's probably a little bit of like i can top your story i can top like prior

00:59:14.199 --> 00:59:17.679
to the first one which i would think it you know white belt bites a dude's nipple

00:59:17.679 --> 00:59:19.819
off. Off. But does it hold, that was the first one.

00:59:21.019 --> 00:59:24.619
I mean, like, if you got, like, you know, someone, maybe he's a big dude,

00:59:24.679 --> 00:59:27.419
he's, like, shoving his chest in your face, and, like, his nipple just happens

00:59:27.419 --> 00:59:28.799
to be in there, and, like.

00:59:30.086 --> 00:59:35.386
You have that like moment of pain where you can't breathe and bite down. Maybe.

00:59:35.546 --> 00:59:39.366
I don't know. Like I could see that being an involuntary action is all I'm saying.

00:59:39.526 --> 00:59:41.846
Maybe the first one isn't malice, but if you hold on for 15 minutes,

00:59:41.926 --> 00:59:43.046
that's, that's malicious intent.

00:59:43.306 --> 00:59:46.106
15 minutes is crazy. But I still think there's missing information.

00:59:46.386 --> 00:59:49.466
Something happened. There's definitely missing information. This guy's a known

00:59:49.466 --> 00:59:55.086
biter, but the, for 15 minutes, the reverse punchline on this is this started

00:59:55.086 --> 00:59:57.026
because somebody said, uh,

00:59:58.006 --> 01:00:01.586
somebody had commented on uh

01:00:01.586 --> 01:00:04.646
and had posted and said

01:00:04.646 --> 01:00:07.826
um one time a guy

01:00:07.826 --> 01:00:13.726
submitted me with a mother's milk submission and afterwards i said i told him

01:00:13.726 --> 01:00:19.446
hey man like good mother's milk like i that sucked and the dude said no it's

01:00:19.446 --> 01:00:26.026
daddy's milk oh weird like he was insulted and then it led into this like nipple bite situation.

01:00:26.746 --> 01:00:29.846
Brennan's already pissing me off. That is very funny. Dude, I would think if

01:00:29.846 --> 01:00:33.586
you get your nipple bit off, you have to like do you get it surgically reattached?

01:00:33.746 --> 01:00:36.466
I think they just... Do you staple your titty back on? I think they just...

01:00:36.466 --> 01:00:38.206
You have to have antibiotics. I think they just sew it.

01:00:38.606 --> 01:00:42.066
I mean, they like clean it out, but I don't think they put the nipple back on.

01:00:42.166 --> 01:00:43.946
You think it's done? I think you just close it up.

01:00:44.646 --> 01:00:46.906
It doesn't. I mean, probably, it's not functional.

01:00:47.966 --> 01:00:50.626
Right. I think they just close you up. It's cosmetic. Yeah.

01:00:51.946 --> 01:00:56.106
This is so weird. You would need antibiotics. Oh, you're throwing antibiotics.

01:00:56.346 --> 01:00:58.266
Some dude's nasty-ass mouth bites on your... Yeah, mouths are gross.

01:00:59.146 --> 01:01:02.106
Mouths are gross. That's so weird. Like, you'll get, like, super staff.

01:01:02.326 --> 01:01:07.066
You'll get, like, some unknown weird shit from a dude who bites your nipple off.

01:01:07.906 --> 01:01:09.726
This... All right, well, right...

01:01:10.803 --> 01:01:13.743
Came through with another one. Unexpected. Came through again.

01:01:13.763 --> 01:01:15.103
I was not expecting that.

01:01:15.543 --> 01:01:18.843
That's the point of the segment. If you guys. Took me unawares.

01:01:19.063 --> 01:01:24.703
If you guys want to be on, in our combat confessions, drop us a note on.

01:01:25.223 --> 01:01:31.843
The crazier the better. Go to www.ftcpodcast.com. You can, there's a contact us form.

01:01:32.063 --> 01:01:34.923
Drop your thoughts in there, your stories.

01:01:35.323 --> 01:01:41.783
It could be a hot take, whatever you want. But you can also go on there and leave us a voicemail.

01:01:42.963 --> 01:01:47.243
There's a little like microphone guy. There's also a page for it,

01:01:47.243 --> 01:01:50.503
but you can click on it. You can leave us a voicemail.

01:01:50.643 --> 01:01:53.703
If you leave us a voicemail, I will play it on the show.

01:01:53.983 --> 01:01:57.883
So if you don't want to be, if you want to do it anonymously,

01:01:58.722 --> 01:02:03.842
Make up a fake name and do give us your belt rank because that's fun.

01:02:04.562 --> 01:02:09.222
And then tell us your story. If you leave it on the contact us form,

01:02:09.222 --> 01:02:12.362
just tell me whether or not you want your name included.

01:02:12.902 --> 01:02:15.562
That's probably because I think it requires you to put the name in.

01:02:15.822 --> 01:02:18.542
Okay. So just tell me whether or not you want it included.

01:02:20.642 --> 01:02:23.542
But that was Fighters Drinking Coffee, guys.

01:02:24.202 --> 01:02:27.222
Thank you for listening. If you would like to support the show,

01:02:27.422 --> 01:02:31.442
again, you can go to www.fdcpodcast.com.

01:02:31.602 --> 01:02:33.282
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01:02:34.842 --> 01:02:40.222
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01:02:48.082 --> 01:02:53.462
If not, just the other stuff is perfectly fine. We just like having your attention, I guess.

01:02:55.622 --> 01:03:02.562
And one last thing our friend Asim Fayez has been kind enough to give us a discount

01:03:02.562 --> 01:03:08.322
code for you the listener so that you can get 50% off your first month with

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ILOVECOFFEE when you sign up it'll give you 50% off your first month and help

01:03:17.902 --> 01:03:24.902
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01:03:24.902 --> 01:03:26.742
that's it guys love you bye.